Are Manners Dead? Whatever Happened to Common Courtesy?

Remember when young girls sometimes attended finishing schools? These schools taught more than etiquette. They taught social graces, deportment, conversation, and the cultural customs expected in polite society. The goal was to prepare young women to enter the world with confidence, poise, and grace.

Sit up straight. Pull your shoulders back. Look someone in the eye. Say please and thank you. Address people respectfully with a "yes, ma'am" or "no, sir." Write a thank-you note. Learn how to carry on a conversation. And, above all, remember that how you treat other people matters.

Somewhere along the way, we seem to have misplaced these lessons.

Today, we seem to confuse good manners with being politically correct, being agreeable, or simply getting what we want. We have become comfortable interrupting conversations, staring at phones while someone is speaking, failing to acknowledge a kindness, and treating common courtesy as optional.

Schools may be one of the most troubling examples of this decline in respect. Teachers are increasingly dealing with behavior that goes far beyond ordinary childhood mischief. In a 2025 Colorado Educator Safety Task Force survey, more than 1,100 educators responded, and 50.1% reported being physically injured by a student. Nearly three-quarters reported witnessing or experiencing a student's attempt to physically injure an adult.

Let that sink in for a moment. Teachers go to school to teach, not to become targets of physical aggression. Whatever happened to respecting the people entrusted with educating our children?

And the changing attitude toward traditional manners isn't limited to the classroom. A 2024 survey conducted by Prezzo and Censuswide in the United Kingdom found that 60% of Gen Z respondents considered traditional table manners irrelevant. Apparently, even knowing which end of the fork to use is becoming negotiable.

Perhaps we have become so concerned with not offending anyone that we've forgotten the importance of showing consideration for everyone.

But manners aren't old-fashioned. They are a reflection of character.

A few simple habits still matter:

• Look people in the eye. Give someone your attention when they speak.

• Say please and thank you. Gratitude should never go out of style.

• Show respect. How you treat a server, a teacher, or someone who can do nothing for you says a great deal about you.

• Take responsibility. Apologize when you're wrong. Don't make excuses.

• Be gracious. You don't have to agree with everyone, but you can disagree without being disagreeable.

• Remember the little things. Hold the door, offer a helping hand, and write the occasional thank-you note.

And parents, these lessons still begin at home. Children don't automatically develop social skills simply by growing up. They learn by watching, practicing, making mistakes, and being corrected. Courtesy is taught, reinforced, and modeled.

Perhaps it's time we brought back a little old-fashioned common sense. Not because we want to return to some imaginary golden age, but because respect, gratitude, self-control, and consideration never go out of style.

Manners don't make you better than someone else. They show that you understand you aren't better than anyone else.